*~* Wordless Wednesday *~*

Looking Glass Falls

To Be a Working Mom or To Be a Stay at Home Mom

 

My husband came home last night and wanted to have a talk about budgeting for the baby prior to us taking the actual Budget for Baby class we're registered for next week. He wanted one of me working and me not working. Easy enough for me to provide to him as I had already done so a while back.... He had a conversation earlier that day with a buddy of his about his family's life since the birth of their child and his wife being a stay-at-home-mom now, after having been employed before and during pregnancy.... I'm not too clear on what their situation is or was and/or what "type" of employment she had, for how long, or even her work history to even try and make an attempt to compare our situation with theirs though. But the hubby seemed a bit excited to discuss it. During his explanation, at first, it seemed he was leaning toward me to continuing work after the birth of our son. A little more into the conversation I had to stop him and ask him if he was wanting me to stay home or still work, you know, to get to the main point/topic of the conversation, his response was stay home....... This took me aback a bit. I had been thinking about both possibilities, but have been leaning more toward getting back to work as soon as possible after the birth.  But my husband seems quiet certain that me staying home would be the most beneficial action to take for our family as a whole..... He named a few of the benefits, being able to raise our children and be there for them (not paying someone else to do so), having the opportunity to not be so stressed and go-go-go all the time, being able to take longer vacation times to see and visit family, and dive in more to my schooling. In reality, I would be working half a month strictly to pay for full time child care for baby and after school care for our school age son. Based off of both of our income it is over $1,100 a month (to include disposable diapers{since they won't do cloth diapers}, wipes, food, etc). And during the summer it would be even more because our oldest son would be in full time care/summer camp also. I responded back that  me working helps keep my sanity, being able to be personable and have adult conversations in person is something I need. Then there's the fact that I have been working for 13 years. Even when I first had my 7yr old, I was blessed with a work from home job for 2 1/2 years that paid great and I was able to work when I wanted in between naps with baby and outings to friends and family's houses. I have always had some sort of employment; part-time, full-time or both at the same time. So thinking about me not working on purpose is a whole lot of frightening to me... I am thankful to have the choice as to what to do though. I just didn't know it would be such a hard decision to make.

 
My mom stayed at home most of my brother's and my childhood and during our breaks we would have numerous trips to the beach, theme parks, the river, locations to go dirt bike riding, lakes, and so on and she would be able to make it to almost all of our performances. All things that I have felt guilty about not being able to do with/for Jake. Guilt is the word that I think best describes it. Guilty for not having enough time for him, guilty for always being in a rush after work to get his school work done, eat, sports practice, shower, then bed. Guilt for the days I come home completely exhausted and half-assing nightly routines or becoming more than easily irritable by him. Guilty for him asking me for years to just stay home with him.... Even though it was no where near an option before. But at the same time I am stuck not knowing how I would react and deal with being a SAHM. Yes, I can go on and on about being more involved in our oldest son's school, being present for every milestone our baby will have, being able to get things done throughout the house and make more diverse yummy meals, being able to do things and go places during breaks, practice my photography more, finish school a lot faster, etc.... But how would I be financially providing for our household? How would I be as a mother who is with the kids ALL THE TIME? How long would it be for?

The husband sees our daily lives as a rush through, constantly on the go, constantly a strain, and not enough enjoyment, and he's said how he'd rather not have that rush feeling once the baby is here. I wonder if he sees it as being a Leave it to Beaver episode or Stepford Wives type of life style when he thinks about how it could be..... I know he is only trying to do and go forward with what he sees is best for the family, for us individually and for the kids, but I think I am a lot more skeptical about it all.

I enjoy the work I currently do about 90% of the time and I get along well with all my co-workers. I love being able to help our soon to be veteran's and military spouses and I'm good at what I do. And I am working hard toward earning another promotion later this year. It is not my ideal job though. Dream job would be something in investigations or photography or both. But I know what I do helps those that I work with find employment after serving our country and that feeling of accomplishment is very rewarding.

My dad has always said write a Pro's and Con's list to any difficult decision.... There are more Pro's for the family in the matter of staying home..... Not to be selfish but personally, right now, I feel there are more Con's for me as a mother and wife to stay home. Buuuuuut I still do not know. I guess I will see how being a SAHM is during maternity leave. 

Articles I have read Stay at Home vs. Working Mothers

http://stayathomemoms.about.com/od/becomeastayathomemom/a/fromwahmtosahm.htm

http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/confessions-pajama-mama/stay-home-mom-vs-working-mom-vs-work-home-mom

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/15/study-working-moms-are-ha_n_1152202.html

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/hard-choice-for-moms-work-stay-home

http://www.workingmother.com/research-institute/what-moms-choose-working-mother-report

http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/powermom/resolutions-working-and-stay-home-moms

Maternity Leave

http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Statutory_Maternity_Leave_Entitlements


Returning to work after Maternity Leave

http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Maternity_Leave_Return_to_Work?bcsi_scan_8D0E087B2ACD4119=veyXRs9HNAQwUfZvYjWZCbeivvJlAAAAJYbyfA==:1

*~*Music Monday*~* Military, Love, Deployments, Loss.....

Here's a list of love, sad, angry, and upbeat songs that remind me of our military members and those of us that remain on the home front when they are away. Feel free to add songs that remind you of your loved one when they're away or patriotic songs that you enjoy! <3

God Bless The USA- Lee Greenwood

Ours- Taylor Swift

The Bumper of My SUV- Chely Wright

Who You'd Be Today- Kenny Chesney

Makin Me Fall In Love Again- Kellie Pickler

Wait For Me-Theory Of A Deadman

Here Without You- 3 Doors Down

Citizen Soldier- 3 Doors Down

When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne

They Also Serve- John Conlee

Letters From Home- John Michael Montgomery
I'm Already There- Lonestar
Love Don't Run-  Steve Holy
Without You- Keith Urban
In God We Still Trust- Diamond Rio
Come Home Soon- SheDaisy
All I Ask For Anymore- Trace Adkins
Traveling Soldier- Dixie Chicks
Loving You Tonight- Andrew Allen
Long Distance- Bruno Mars
Tattoos & Scars- Montgomery Gentry
Politically Uncorrect- Gretchen Wilson
Only In America- Brooks and Dunn
Little House- Amanda Seyfried
Warm Whispers- Missy Higgins
All We'd Ever Need- Lady Antebellum
A Thousand Years- Christina Perri
God Gave Me You- Blake Shelton
Whiskey Lullaby- Brad Paisley
Soldier Song- Steve Azar
I'll Wait For You- Joe Nichols
Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning- Alan Jackson
American Soldier- Toby Keith
Where The Stars and Stripes and The Eagles Fly- Aaron Tippin
America First- Merle Haggard
God Bless America- Martina McBride
One Last Time- Dusty Drake
Riding with Private Malone- David Ball
If I Don't Make It Back- Tracy Lawrence
One More Day- Diamond Rio
Arlington- Trace Adkins
Ragged Old Flag- Johnny Cash
American Child- Phil Vassar
Some Gave All- Billy Ray Cyrus
Courtsey Of the Red, White & Blue- The Angry American- Toby Keith
Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day
Unsung Heros- Josh Gracin
Just A Dream- Carrie Underwood
Til The Last Shots Fired- Trace Adkins
19- Bill Gentry
If You're Reading This- Tim McGraw
Semper Fi- Trace Adkins
I Just Came Back From A War- Darryl Worley

Hello 6 Week Mark!!!!! {Hopefully}

This past week had been a bit crazy. Monday was my appointment at the new hospital an hour and a half away. I had to take my blood sugar levels that I have been tracking in, they made copies and everything is looking good. I'm averaging at 90 throughout the week. Thursday had a spike though, up to 123!!! Yikes! Hubby said that was probably due to me having one of the mini bottles of sprite with my lunch..... Weird because I can have one before lunch and then have my blood sugar be just fine 2 hours after lunch. He again stated it is the rapid dissolving sugars within soda.... Sigh.... I already limit myself to soda intake, caffeine intake, sweets and certain carbs (because we all know carbs turn into sugar), I have a feeling when Michael is born I am going to go into all out gorge mode!!! Hehehehe. One thing I was told at my previous appointment was that I DO NOT have to cut back on my salad consumption!!! Why didn't I come to these doctors sooner???? Reason being is that the daily shot of blood thinner that I have to give myself is fast acting and the vitamin K within the lettuce isn't strong enough to thicken my blood against the medicine. HALLELUJAH!!! I have been enjoying my salads that I had been craving for so long but "couldn't have" since they said I could!!!

Chicken Caesar Salad

We also had an ultrasound done so they could see baby's growth and organs. Everything looks great! There is something that does scare the crud out of me though..... He is measuring at 35-36 weeks already (at only 33weeks along).... They stated that if I didn't know my menstrual cycle they would have his due date as April 6th..... Can I just say I don't remember for sure at this point? Hahaha..... Oyyyy this will be interesting!!!!

Baby Face

Sucking on his hand :)

Well, Tuesday came and I wasn't feeling so hot.... Then right before lunch my tummy decided to go haywire on me. Went to the ladies room, felt the need to use the bathroom but only number 1 would happen.... Then there it was, bright red and pain.... Fffffff! Out the door, call the hubby, he picks me up outside of my office, 80mph drive to the ER all while I am grabbing anything as hard as possible to equal the shooting pain and telling my husband how much I love him (which afterward I realized how silly I must have sounded), worried about what was going on and a bit upset that we still didn't have a single thing ready for his arrival, was taken up to Labor and Delivery and put on monitors, the contractions were right on top of another and big! They finally died down a couple hours later, and I was told to go home and rest and drink more water, I was pretty dehydrated. I was also told I am dilated to a 1, which really doesn't mean a whole lot as I can be that for weeks or longer. But the birthing process has begun. :)) Hopefully he will stay for the whole 6 weeks and finish developing and growing. I do wish it would go by a little quicker though, I can feel the stress building up from lack of sleep and discomforts and when at work it takes every ounce of energy I can muster to stay awake come noon and by the time I get home all I want to do is put my feet up and/or sleep! I am so thankful for my hubby and all that he does and all that he "forces" me to do. But I am sure he is looking forward to the baby being here already too! 6 weeks to go!

Veteran's Affairs Claims: Sit & Wait Game Continues

http://www.va.gov/

VA claims are currently taking a minimum of 6 months to go through.... The good news with this is that once you submit your claim your compensation is back dated to the day that it began, (if submitted within 1 year of the change of status). Meaning, if you are discharged from the military you have 1 year to submit your claim from your EAS date to receive back payment. If you submit it after that one year of being out it starts from the day you submitted your claim. I was lucky enough, almost a decade ago, to start my claim right after I was discharged, it took only a couple months back then for everything to go through and I was back paid to my date of separation. However, now with there being so many that are in the process of getting out it is WISE to start your claim 6 months PRIOR to getting out. This way all of your VA medical exams are completed and the sit and wait process will start upon EAS instead of waiting for so long once you are out. If anything more were to happen in between you are always capable of adding to your claim. And there is the possibility of secondary conditions that may take place over the years in relation to conditions you previously claimed. I have a couple secondary conditions that I still need to claim, but just don't seem to find the time to get it done. Carpal tunnel and slipped discs in my neck are related to my lower back injury that took place while I was active duty. I have all the documents, xrays etc for it, just need to make an appointment with my VA rep to go over everything and start those claims.

Then there are dependents. You can claim your husband/wife, child/children/step child, or parent as dependents. It does raise your compensation amount. I am still currently waiting for my claim of my husband to go through back from Sept. But will get back paid for the extra amount of him whenever it does go through. Then there will be the process of adding our little one when he is born.... That will be another loooonnnngggg wait for that to go through too.

I know of several people that are out there waiting for these compensations to go through. People that are in dyer need of that tax free income..... Almost all of  these claims are electronic. And I and my VA rep friends/co-workers (co-workers because we all help transition military members out, not because I work for the VA) have stated that someone in the VA Central Office and Satellite Offices are not doing their jobs in any type of efficient manner. Each of us would be able to process/enter at least 100 claims a day. My take is that they are just looking at job security and that doing the minimum is "okay" while our Veteran's out there who are trying to get by and who have been cut from the military out of no-where while planning on making it a career due to down sizing are basically being put on the back burner...... It is complete CRAP that it would take so long for these Heroes to receive what can help them make it through their transitioning process.....

Just my current rant that I see on a daily basis with where I work and what I have experienced.

BRACE FACE!!!

Since our little man's adult teeth have started growing in it was apparent that he would need braces.... BRACES! These things are known to be more expensive than my first car! Start saving up now is what I was told by family and friends, take out a loan, hope you have dental insurance..... Yadda Yadda Yadda. Fortunately enough, there were only 6 braces/brackets needed (for now) and the cost was under $250 after insurance! (A big thank you to the local orthodontist who actually gave over a 50% discount and is known for doing work for free, Dr. Ball, you are amazing and appreciated!!!) Well, it turns out his teeth are actually too crowded in the front not allowing numbers 7 & 10 to grow in properly. Numbers 8 & 9, his two front teeth, are too far apart and crooked. Then Numbers 5,6 and 11,12 are to be pulled back a little as well to make room.

His reaction to the whole thing: "Thank you SSSSOOOO much mommy for letting me get braces!!!" Our child WANTED braces! He thinks it looks cool and says all his friends are going to want them now. LOL. Really? Don't get me wrong, I was that girl who was attracted to the boys with braces or glasses.... (His dad actually had braces when I first met him in high school, lol). But that it looks cool? Ok buddy, if you say so! :)) I'm just happy that it will help take care of his snaggle tooth and gap and allow his teeth to grow in!!!! Intense before pictures were taken by the dentist with these crazy lip holders to only see the teeth. I can't wait to see how great his teeth look in 6-7 months! He was happy to pick out a color for his bands too! Red, of course, his favorite color! :))

*~*Music Monday*~*

I grew up listening to everything and still enjoy a large variety of tunes. Buuuutttt...... My all time favorite band has been Third Eye Blind since they first came out. Back in the summer of 1998 I was able to see them live at a street fair and it was amazing!!!! Squeezed our way up to the front and enjoyed the show.

Yes, I own each and everyone of their CD's and was so happy when their new one came out a couple years back after so many years without them releasing one!!! 

How Many Seeds Did I Actually Swallow?

33 weeks today... And GROWING!

The past few days this little dude inside me has been breaking dancing, karate chopping, headbutting, you name it, my insides. I walk anywhere and he seems to try his hardest to push his head out and say hello. Hopefully he will be this helpful when labor time does come!!! :)))

Tomorrow we will be given the opportunity to see him again at the hospital that is rated "Baby Friendly"! While it's not seeing him in person yet, that time will come soon, it'll be great to have a looksy at him! :) The first visit there seriously reminded me of an episode of Grey's Anatomy, residents, friendly manners and so on. I did feel a lot better there than any of the other 2 hospitals I have been to!

Sleep has become a battle with the belly and little man inside. One wrong move and he let's me know I need to get back to the comfy spot he was in even if it feels like my back is twisted into odd positions. Pillows are not as anodyne as they once were, and flipping the bed has brought me some comfort but seems to only hurt the hubby now. It has officially reached that uncomfortable stage of the pregnancy.... Yet I catch myself holding my belly, petting my belly, and yes, even poking at my belly to feel him show off his moves. Every time I poke and prod at him the hubby scolds me telling me to leave the kid alone... LOL.Not to worry though, he pays me back 10 fold ALL-DAY-LONG. ;) 

Now to go empty the baby's push toy.....

OYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

*~*Saturday Starbucks Gift Card Giveaway!!!*~*

Who doesn't love a hot (or cold) cup of joe or tea?  And since my coffee consumption has been limited until the birth of our little man, I figure someone else can enjoy some for me, thus leaving me to live vicariously through you for drinking coffee! :)

This giveaway will be open until Saturday March 3rd at midnight. The Winner will have 24 hours to claim his/her online gift card. The gift card will be delivered by email and is open worldwide!

The winning entries will be verified, and if it is not claimed a new winner will be drawn.

Enter to win via the Rafflecopter below! :)))

Coupons, Coupons, Coupons!!!!

I started using coupons a couple years back, and then the extreme couponing show came out..... WOW!!!!! Made my use of coupons look meager! I started reading into how they do so, the measures that are taken to get coupons, the match prices through the weekly ads..... Made my head spin! The fact that I can print coupons from home is a God send! The fact that the commissary has an online listing of prices for numerous items and sale items is beyond wonderful as well!!!!! My hubby tends to scoff at the coupons I use. But the fact that we eat and go through all that I get from them is proof enough of their worthiness for our household. Who doesn't like to save money!?!? My favorite sites to use have been CouponMom.com and Coupons.com. Now, it is so nice for a busy working, prego, mom of a sporty 7yr old to be able to just hop on the comp real quick and see all the people out there that make couponing SO MUCH EASIER!!!!!! I Thank Every Single One Of You who post those great deals either through blogs or facebook! I appreciate you all more than you know! :))) Have a great weekend and always keep an eye out for great deals for things you need!!!!!

*~*Wordless Wednesday*~*

I know how he feels most days... hahaha

All Work & No Play Makes Mama Tired

After having  4 1/2 days off it is difficult to get back into the swing of things. Especially when the day must start by hitting the ground running. Get myself ready, make sure the man-child gets up and gets ready, ask hubby to make me eggs as he makes his, gets the little man's breakfast in order and snacks for the day at school, try to think of what snacks I may want to snack on throughout the day (as my hunger/cravings change). Finish getting ready, kiss my hubby, hug our son and off to work.

Come to work and find our new cubicles are up and everything needs to be unpacked and put in order. An hour and a half later I was ready for a nap! Spent the day setting up my computer lab area, putting up our resource books, organizing my desk, providing a one on one preseparation brief to a service member and then continued with cleaning up the areas. I was pooped! 

Headed home and decided that the simple meal of hamburger helper that I took the meat out for this morning was right on spot. Too tired to fuss with anything else. In fact I was so tired the hubby made dinner while I laid on the couch and zoned in and out of consciousness. Helped little man with home work, ate, and then laid down in bed.

I wonder how much longer I'll be able to survive these daily marathon's because the further along I get the more tired I grow throughout the day. (I was spoiled when I was working from home during my last pregnancy!) 32 weeks down, 8 to go! I plan on staying at work until my water breaks or the doc says differently (which I don't suspect will happen).

After that I plan on going back to work as soon as possible.... But then again plans can change. The hubby's name has been placed on an availability list for deployment a month after Mikey is due..... A 7 month one from my understanding. While that would suck on so many levels, it is also an opportunity for him to continue showing off his knowledge and leadership skills and of course he would be doing what he loves. Sigh.... So, needles to say, it is a bit difficult to say I "plan" to do one thing when there are so many variables that can take place... But a great addition to that is that with all the draw backs and cuts the Marine Corps has been making, he was selected for Career Retention!!! While it is no surprise with how great his fit reps have been, it was still a much answered prayer that we were hoping for. As long as he enjoys what he's doing and does so for the right reasons I'll always support him.

But my OCD with planning ahead as much as possible continues to grab a hold of me.... How's that saying go? If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans!

Here is one plan that I'm sure He will agree with.... Me going back to bed! :) Good night blog world! Sweet Dreams!

Just Another Manic Monday

I will be signing under choosing a VBAC!!! :))

The day started with having to wake up earlier than I normally would for a paid day off. Today was the big appointment that I have been waiting weeks for. The appointment to be seen and get the ball rolling on giving birth to our son via VBAC. I hardly slept a wink last night, my mind was going a million miles an hour and it didn't help that the power kept going out leaving me without a fan and messing with the alarm clock. Anxious, Yes. Excited to be seen at one of very few Baby Friendly Rated hospitals throughout the US (maybe about 100 of them all throughout the US), definitely!!!! After a long detailed appointment (which has been completely lacking with the other location I had been going to) I was and am more confident in giving birth to our son naturally now more than ever before. Of course, they did explain the possibilities of the most severe complications (which I admit does scare the crap out of me) but even with that it is so rare that these happen (1% of births via VBACs) that I am sucking it up and going for it. My hubby is happy that I decided to do so. :)) Me.... I'm nervous. Will I do so without medication, no. There are those women out there who do so without anything, and that is great, god on them! But me, when it comes to the back labor I went through with my first son, there is just no way. Since I am considered a "high risk" pregnancy, I will more than likely be going out to this hospital for appointments once a week until the birth. 55 days to go! :)

http://www.acog.org/For_Patients - Excellent resource for us preggo folk.

After the appointment we went to a second hand store called Once Upon A Child. Let's just say that we were there for over an hour!!! It reminded me of a store back in Aurora, CO called Kid to Kid. This place was amazing! A bit overstocked and overwhelming, but still an absolute gold mine for kids clothes and toys! Ranges were from new born to preteen in clothing and new born to older toddler with toys. We managed to find numerous toys from the baby's wish list there for a quarter of the price in excellent condition! Then with summer coming up we were about to get our 7 year old new (used) name brand shorts in perfect condition, and of course I caved in and found a couple more baby clothes.... I need to stop buying clothes for the baby... Clothing wise we are pretty much set, especially with my father shipping out baby clothes that I had saved from when our 7yr old was a baby. He's also sending out our son's old bassinet!!!! (This is another one of the few things I just could not ever part with). SO excited to finally start setting everything up. Oh! And we managed to find a $130 excellent condition stroller for only $40 off of the local yard sale website out here. Yep, thrifty shoppers indeed. (The only things I will not by used are a car seat and crib.) We did find the perfect crib at Target for under $150, this will be something that we get for baby Mikey when he is close to out growing the bassinet. We did cave and buy a new pack n' play from Target today.... Haven't been able to find a decent one through yard sales or craigslist. (This will be something we hold onto this time around though, of course I kick myself in the butt for all the things that I have sold via yard sales and second hand stores throughout all these years....) And, we still have the highchair our son originally used that I love so much and just never could part with. (It helped that my friend Ashley used it for her two boys as well!) :))

All in all, today turned out to be a very productive Baby B day and his Big Brother did great throughout the entire crazy, run around day!! :))) Now...... To just get this house in some sort of order..... Sigh.... :p

Daddy cruising the aisles.

The Cart of Treasures Found & Bought :)

I remembered this from when I was young!!! Couldn't pass up for only $2.50 in excellent condition!!!

Oven Baked Chicken Parmesan

Ingredients:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 1 1/4 pd)
1 egg, slightly beaten
3/4 cup Italian seasoned dry bread crumbs
1 jar (26 or 28 ounces) Ragu Pasta Sauce (I use Ragu's Mama's Special Garden Sauce)
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (I use a bit more)

Prep:
1 Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Dip chicken in egg, then bread crumbs.

2 Put chicken in 13x9-inch glass dish. Bake uncovered for 20 min.

3 Pour Ragu Sauce over chicken, then top with cheese. Bake and additional 10 min or until chicken is no longer pink. Serve if desired, with hot cooked pasta (Goes extremely well with fettuccine alfredo.)

Deployments & Such

Deployment: the word that every spouse and significant other shutters at, but still knows it is his or her duty and we support them 110%. The days that seem to go by far to quickly prior to their leave date, the training before hand that either takes them away for long periods of time or allows them to come home when we are already tucked away in bed. Anxiety levels, stress levels at all time highs. 

And then the day comes of leaving. Checking his list twice over. Setting aside items to be immediately mailed out to lessen the amount taken with and/or because there just is not enough room to pack it. Drive him to the site that has been planned for families to see their loved off. Kiss, hug, cry, kiss some more, hold hands while squeezing the life out of it hoping that closeness and feeling will be permanently embedded in your body. Wait until that absolute last call before hugging and kissing again. Watch the bus or vehicle leave out of sight before you mosey on back to a never pausing life.

Somehow make it back home, but little recollection of how you managed to get there. Open the front door...... Silence.... Emptiness.... The child or children sad at first and then they kick into normal everyday play. Mommy going to the bed and seeing where he was laying down, making that side of the bed is not an option at this point. Yes, I have left his side of the bed unmade for several months with his hoodie and a large teddy bear that he bought me there. No that doesn't mean the blankets were dirty. that is what a shower before bed is for. :P

Next day and the days to follow are all about making the time pass as quickly as possible. This can be an easy task with little ones involved in activities. If there are no little ones this task can sometimes be a challenge finding things to do on your own and with friends that does not involve curling up in bed with a pint of your favorite ice cream. 

I have had it both ways. On my own while little man was visiting friends or family and having him home with a million things to do in relation to his sports, school, and other activities. I prefer having him home. It kept my mind elsewhere and I didn't start on a million different projects/updates for our home. There were a few must do's though. As it happens to be, any time he leaves SOMETHING goes terribly wrong within the house. 

This last deployment the dishwasher went haywire and began leaking (more than normal) throughout the kitchen, I had to replace that. Then the master bath's sink decided that our house needed an indoor pool in the middle of night. After a couple hours of clean up, tearing out carpet matting from our bedroom and setting up heaters to dry the foundation and carpet I was at my wits end. Let's just say coffee was a must that morning at work for this pregnant lady. 

Murphy's Law Does His Work in ALL DEPLOYMENTS.

Phone calls, snail mail, webcams, emails, texts (yes texts on certain deployments with international plans). Your phone is always on the loudest it can be on and attached to your hip all times (except maybe the shower and even then it is still within an arms reach away). If for whatever reason you have a moment of forgetfulness and walk into another room without it, that is when he calls... 

You check the phone no more than 5 minutes later and see you MISSED a call!!!!!!! REALLY????? Yep, it happens to each of us, and then we are looking at our phone for the rest of the day/night hoping he gets the chance to call back. Then once that call does come through it is no surprise that only half of the conversation is truly understood but at least the most important part does, and that is how much you love and miss each other (even if you are fuming mad that the satellites decided to take a dump during the time you actually get to hear his voice).

 

(My love from his last deployment)

Mail and care packages are wonderful to send. Little goodies, surprise letters and cards. Pouring your undying love out for him in a letter always feels so much better than trying to do so in an email. :) And is a pleasant item to receive that is personal that he can carry around with him every where he goes and re-read it as he pleases. I still carry a certain letter that he wrote me when he was deployed 2 years back. Every now and then I pull it out and it still brings the biggest shit-eating-grin/smile to my face :)))     

                               

Then after months of independence/having to keep things in line on your own comes the time that we have been longing for. They're coming home! You've thought about this day, you've dreamed about this day, you've literally been counting down the days from a certain point and crossing off your calendar to the "possible arrival date" (because nothing is ever certain in any branch). You've gone out and gotten your hair done, nails done, picked out something to wear, and even shaved your legs! 

The house is spotless except maybe whatever you decided to make as the meal for his arrival. (BTW a crockpot works wonders for late night homecomings!!!) You get to the arrival area and twiddle your thumbs, make small talk amongst other wives and significant others and families, and your heart starts pounding. Do I look ok, will he recognize me? (This was my biggest fear because he left with a not so noticeable baby bulge and was coming home to a BABY BUMP). You're antsy, you're nervous, he steps off that bus (and hopefully you can see him, mine snuck up behind me and scared the crap out of me) and he's in your arms and life is finally right back where you left it x amount months prior..........

Or so you thought it was where you left it. Do not and I repeat do not think everything goes right back to "normal". That old normal does not exist, there is a new normal to be created and worked at together in the midst of the honeymoon phase of him being home. Both of you have grown in ways together as well as individuals during this time apart. Your love for each other is still there and hopefully stronger than ever. But there are adjustments to be made. You are not the only adult under that roof now. You will have to give up some of the things that you were doing all on your own. Your partner will have to step up to do some of those things (AND NOTE: it may not be in the same manner that you were doing so, THAT'S OK!!!!! The end result is still the same, the baby's diaper was changed, the dishes are clean etc....) 

This was my struggle. Him stepping in to do things, me asking what he thinks he's doing and so on. Until he literally threw it in my face one night about how I am not the only one here anymore, that he is capable of taking the load off of me just fine and that I needed to sit the hell down and relax. Yep, I was taken aback, and gave a YES SIR after biting my tongue. Hahahaha. Know there are many wives out there for an ear to listen and can give advice if that is what you're seeking. If nothing seems to work, Chaplain's are absolutely amazing people with wonderful insight and counselors have great advice and activities to do as a couple.

We recently attended a stronger marriage/couples course on base with his unit. It was amazing how different we are yet at the same time how much we knew each others "fighting/argument techniques". The class is beyond recommended to any couple no matter how long you have been together. It was full of helpful information, fun, entertaining and just all around a great experience. Look into your bases spousal activities and family friendly functions!

We are labeled Survivors of Deployments as well, Veteran's of keeping the home-front under as best control as we possibly could. Because let's just be honest, there were several things that came up out of our control that we decided to just place on the "honey-do-list" for him to do sometime after he gets home. (Yes, I'm guilty as charged for this as well).

What are some of the things that have gone wrong during the deployments or exercises you have been through? What type of goodies do you like sending out to him/her and what do they ask for most? What do you do during the time they're gone? If you have kids how do you help them through it? How do you celebrate the homecoming (besides that... :p)?